A Bulb Changer

As easy as changing a light bulb is an expression which may once have been valid but most certainly does not apply today.

There are nineteen  bulbs in the kitchen alone. They need five different  types of bulb. The downlighters in the ceiling are the hardest to change, especially as there is a load of builders rubble in the ceiling that falls out when a bulb is removed. The downlighters are held in place by a wire ring that is fairly easy to take off but tricky to put back. A downlighter in the hall is jammed in place and I cannot prise it loose. I think if I had a toy arrow with a suction cap I might be able to get it out.

The light in the oven has a glass cover that was impossible to unscrew and I resorted to a professional handyman. Pretty pathetic to pay to have a light bulb changed. One of the lights in the extractor hood went and I couldn’t work out how to get the bulb out. Of course there was an instructional video on YouTube that helped and infuriated at the same time. The demonstrator had the hood standing vertically on a table making the task a doddle compared to trying to do it in situ. He breezily reminded me to turn the electricity off but how was I going to do that without plunging most of west London into darkness? I did eventually find a switch under the sink marked Extractor Fan.

Chatsworth has a clock winder. I need a bulb changer.


5 thoughts on “A Bulb Changer”

  1. The contemporary light is a very tricky number altogether especially when ones eye sight is obscured by rubble and dust when it falls out as you twist and turn the fitting. However you will get better at it. If the lights in your kitchen are LED you should not have to change them very frequently – they say they last for 100’s of hours but that is tosh.

    To turn off your mains electricity you go to the mains box, probably in your cellar, and turn the mains switch to off. This cuts off the electricity supply to your house alone and is the safest route to take when messing with anything electrical.

    To add to your miseries you will be unhappy to hear that down-lighters seem to burn out after a few years and have to be replaced expensively .

    The hanging light bulb in the middle of the room could have a come back.

    1. Turning the electricity off at the mains causes collateral damage; the oven clock has to be re-set but I suppose that is a better option than being electrocuted. Another reader has contacted me with constructive advice, namely to buy a bulb removal tool, only £1.99 from Clas Ohlson. Next week I am having a Smart electricity meter fitted at the insistence of the ESB, or whatever they are called in London. No doubt that will produce unexpected problems.

      1. As there are yet parts of rural Ireland ‘sitting in darkness’ I very much doubt if the ESB has extended its network to the British Capital. Of smart meters I can offer no experience, however I recall an image of the authors kitchen table in a recent post adorned with a smart, Georgian(?) silver candlestick. I am therefore reassured that the Hon. Gentleman will not be found groping around in the dark should his lights go out.

  2. Q. How many academics does it take to change a light bulb?

    A. Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work!

  3. Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
    Himself. It struck him dead, and serve him right.
    It is the business of the wealthy man
    To give employment to the artisan.

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